Israel has been at war for more than two years, and there is no question that this war has taken a huge toll on everyone. Young families have had to cope with the ongoing absence of a father and husband as he serves hundreds of days on reserve duty during the past two years. Grandparents have had to pitch in and help when their children are serving. So many families and communities are dealing with loss, injured soldiers, and soldiers with PTSD. We are a nation that is suffering and mourning.
But at the same time, life goes on, and the experiences and challenges that we encounter remain with us. For a long time, we put aside our “normal” worries and focused on the extraordinary ones that were related to this terrible war and particularly to the trauma of October 7th. But, the ordinary challenges were there all along. In some cases, when we tried to put them aside, they loomed larger than before.
Take for example special-needs children. A family with a special-needs child cannot take a vacation from the need. Their child is always there, needing special attention, demanding extraordinary patience. If a father of a special-needs child is drafted to reserve duty, the family has an even harder time adjusting to his absence. A special-needs child usually requires the full-time attention of one parent; when one parent is absent it all falls on the other parent who must attend to both the special-needs child and the other children.
Imagine such a family. The special-needs children come home from their special schools at 5 pm. The other children are home from school a bit earlier but 5 pm is the witching hour. Checking to be sure the children have done their homework, preparing dinner, making sure the younger children aren’t destroying the house, that the older children come home on time — and so much more. Then bath-time and bed-time, preferably with a bed-time story for the younger children. But the special-needs child cannot bathe herself. She can’t walk and is totally dependent on her mother to feed her, bathe her and settle her into bed. Where does this mother find the extra hands?
Wonderful organizations such as Heart of Benjamin lend a hand. Special-needs children go to the afternoon programs from school and come home just at dinner time, ready for dinner and bed. There are weekend programs to enable the family to have a break, to spend quality time with their other children, without the demands of the special-needs child. And volunteer teen-agers visit the homes of the special-needs children and offer that extra helping hand to mother as she copes with her endless tasks. Heart of Benajmin is a miracle-worker in the best of times. It is a life-saver in times of war.
At Heart of Benjamin, in Ofra, children enjoy after-school programs and holiday camps. Respite care available as well when parents need an evening or weekend break from the demands of their special child.Often the grief of the grandparents is not recognized. Compared to the grief of the parents, it seems less acute, less painful. Grandparents often feel left out. Their children are finding ways to cope with their grief—they are wrapped up in their other children. They seek comfort in their communities, from their spiritual leaders. But Grandma lives somewhere else. She is often alone with her grief. She is often alone period.
The senior programs in the small communities are life-savers for their elderly residents, whether they are suffering an enormous loss or “just” trying to work out the challenges of loneliness. The communities they founded were once theirs to run. Today a younger generation has taken over and the grandparents are not sure where they belong.
Communities are establishing senior citizen centers to provide regular programming, Bible study, field trips, and hobbies to local members.
By creating a positive environment for seniors to gather, share and plan activities, including activities that can benefit the entire community, these wonderful pioneers can feel productive. And when we add tragedy to the mix, a close, cohesive senior community can provide the love and understanding that only someone else of the same age can provide.
These are just a few examples of the needs that the war has exacerbated. Yes, emergency equipment saves lives and you have been so generous in providing emergency needs for struggling communities. But today, I want to ask you to provide vital support for the ordinary needs of ordinary people who have been struggling against extraordinary challenges. They deserve your support. They need your love and your attention. They will be so grateful for anything you can do to help.
by Sondra Oster Baras
Published on: December 2, 2025